I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
