I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
