the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
