The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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