Is it because I queefed?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
