Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize