Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
