a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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