this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
nutella sex= disaster
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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