am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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