lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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