guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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