Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
