I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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