I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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