but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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