how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
