I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
