Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
