My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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