I have demons in me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
