honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
