I need help removing her.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
