Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize