i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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