Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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