RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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