My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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