I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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