I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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