Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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