I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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