in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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