just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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