Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
