clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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