Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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