Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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