You made me cry and you don't even care
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
