first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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