names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
