I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
