found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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