do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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