I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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