We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
