no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
