real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize