I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
