When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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