Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
