Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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