just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
