I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
either way he was missing a nipple.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
