if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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