Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
