im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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