please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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