and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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