We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I deserve this hangover.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
