I puked a lego.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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