office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
