she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize