ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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