The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
two words: eviction party
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
