Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
