Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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