Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
