it was like eating out sand paper
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
