After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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