it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
